Oh man, I fucking hate September 11. I hate that it happened and I hate when the date rolls back around and sort of creeps into my consciousness even though it isn't a creeping thing at all. This unease still underlays my day, when of course nothing of significance happens and shouldn't and hopefully won't. As inarticulate as that is, it is what just immediately ran through my mind and it is about the current state of my thinking. No real thinking, that is to say.

I started this blog, long time readers might remember (I know there are a few that still exist), on the one year anniversary of September 11 (give or take a few days) and the intensity of that moment--that whole year-- has definitely faded even though the persistence of its core and the resonance of it all has not. I wasn't alone in starting a blog then, there was a huge flurry. Obviously my focus has shifted over the years. I don't know if I had anything to say about it back when I launched Undismayed but I know did say a whole lot. I haven't gone back to read it and won't. There are still only a few people who I even talk about September 11 with, and they are all close friends.

When I say I only talk about 9-11 to friends, I mean the emotional core of the whole thing. I talk about the meaning of it, the impact of it, and so on, all of the time in an academic setting. It is a historical turning point in so many ways to frame things theoretically and historically. And of course I have been known to rant about it on this blog in those ways too. Hell, all of a sudden these assholes throughout the country started talking about "American empire", which also just so happens to be my specialty. I should be ranting about this stuff. Too bad nobody thought of joining the conversation about empire before, and too bad these clowns are now celebrating what they don't understand. And too bad so many dumb, dumb, dumb fucking mistakes have been made in its name.

I wish I had some deep things to observe about 9-11 outside the country, but there is nothing to observe since it is a total irrelevancy here. Plus, how I am to draw insight from a place that I have no real concept of? This is a country where adult young men wear Mickey House t-shirts for chrissakes. There is nothing to learn here in this regard.

I know 9-11 was a watershed but how and in what ways I don't know anymore. I don't think we'll know for a long time, historical time. But some things are clear. The towers fell and it was a clear sign that things you may consider utterly rock solid can and do simply dematerialize. That is the abyss, no doubt about it.

That the attacks themselves were exploited by the cynical and (even worse) completely incompetent and criminally minded motherfuckers in the Bush administration is certain. That we grieving and/or righteously pissed off Americans were snookered into a stupid and really harmful and unnecessary war is also a clear result. That our fattened and complacent nation was further lulled into somnolence in the face of looming and wrenching economic hardtimes is also clear. That the militarization of our society is complete such that uneducated soldiers sign on for 20 grand bonuses and the rest of society cannot lick every last "hero's" boots fast enough (though we discard their damaged selves when they return from Iraq) is clear.

That the Democrats are completely useless old he-grannies is certain. That they are unable to stop the war in Iraq, and won't stop the war, is also certain. We can't stop it either, it will continue for no reason and to no good end for anyone. And I don't write this because I actually give a shit about Iraqis. I am concerned about us.

That we haven't killed the people who attacked us on 9-11, and are in fact allowing them to leave in comfort in the country of our so-called ally while we waste time destroying poppy fields in Afghanistan is crystal clear, and it is galling. That it is considered a tiresome cliche to point this out--that, in fact, it is a losing political line of argument to point out that we have not avenged the attack nor have we actually set things up so it won't happen again--is a travesty that you could not have made up 6 years ago. If you had made it up you would have sounded like a simpleton.

Did 9-11 change the world? Nope. It was and is a wrenching emotional experience in profound ways for some, but for so many it meant and means nothing.

But it cannot be denied that it did certainly reveal some very real limitations in our country's leadership. Almost none of them should be respected and none of them is competent to be a leader.

Here we are, ever since, being reminded of this.