The most misunderstood word in Hampton Roads is also one of the most commonly used. And, one of the stupidest too, it should be noted.

That word is "Upscale."

(I know what you are thinking--the crowd beating of three and murder of one over the weekend in Norfolk was "upscale," and who could disagree).

Whenever a developer slaps up a cookie cutter development around here, and gives it a fancy name like Tanner's Creek at Assy Landing, or Kings Grant of East Towne Centre, then inevitably the word "upscale" is appended to the development.

When they build the new, just-add-water "Town Center" of Virignia Beach, it was called "upscale." Some of the upscale restaurants include such rarefied upscale cuisine as PF Changs, Bravo! Cucina Italia!, California Pizza Kitchen, and the Cheesecake Factory.

The other day as I drove by Town Center I saw the truly upscale sight of a massively overweight woman walking into the Cheesecake factory wearing a shirt that said NAVY in foot high letters on the front and a pair of shorts encasing her legs (sausage like), with the word BEER! written across the ass.

Virginia Beach-- Upscale Shopping and Dining!

I could go on about the upscale character of Town Center but perhaps you get my drift.

I thought of this today when there was a headline in the local paper that announced, yes, a new "upscale development" being planned for next to the Great Dismal Swamp in Chesapeake. This Upscale development will also include a theme park built around the Swamp. Oh yes! What is more upscale than a theme water slide park modeled after a similarly chain waterslide park in Williamsburg.

It does make me wonder what is worse--the crowds of muderous criminals in Norfolk or the idiots paving over the last open space in the region.


Plan for Chesapeake farmland has upscale feel

A possible plan to develop about 4,000 acres of farmland in southern Chesapeake could include luxury homes, high-end condominiums and an 11-acre yacht club, one of the proposed project's partners said Monday.

The project, which has included a possible theme park centered on the Dismal Swamp Canal, also could have three schools, two golf courses, an office park and a light-rail system, said John Bishard of the investment group Southern Chesapeake Land Co. LLC....

"It's so different from just a bunch of houses," Willis said.

The site along George Washington Highway stretches south to the North Carolina border. The land is owned by Frank T. Williams & Sons Farms. Williams has declined to comment on the proposal.

A 2003 report from the Urban Land Institute concluded that the property could be a "complex but unique development and planning opportunity" for Chesapeake.

According to the report, as long as developers solve the problems of infrastructure, school capacity, and traffic, the tract could help showcase the "natural attraction of the Great Dismal Swamp."

Bishard, a certified public accountant whose family has been involved in real estate in Virginia Beach and other places, said he wants to build an "environmentally friendly development with much more than just homes."

The plans include setting aside 600 acres for lakes and room for a possible museum.

The "live, work and play" community has the potential, he said, to attract residents from Hampton Roads and retirees looking to move south.

"We want to bring something that's unique, that's beneficial to the city," Bishard said.

The theme park could be something similar to the Great Wolf Lodge, an indoor water park and family resort in Williamsburg, Bishard said. One suggestion was to call the Chesapeake attraction "Big Bear Lodge," though the proposed name is still being discussed, he said.

"These are just dreams and ideas," he said.